i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
