i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
