Sponge bath it is.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
