He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
