I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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