Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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