Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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