Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
