make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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