Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
