At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
