Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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