Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
