In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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