yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
