then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
