Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
