i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
