I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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