Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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