We should be called the Road Head Warriors
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
