Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
