omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You can't motorboat a personality
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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