FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
