I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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