And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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