Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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