I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
