A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
