i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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