you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
