I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize