i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I came so hard my ears popped.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
