are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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