We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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