She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
