Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
