Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
