Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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