sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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