you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
