All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
