Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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