The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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