The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
