he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
