i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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