Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
