Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
