i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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