she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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