How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
