All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
