I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dignity is for republicans.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
