love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
