Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
