brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
