I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize